Thursday, March 2, 2017~
Holy crap its March already!!! Time flies when you’re having fun, or when you’re planning for surgery anyways. I have been planning on this day for 7 months now, and the last month has been the most real it’s ever felt.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I am quite an O.C.D person with a very strong Type A personality. Now, I’m not the OCD type that has to touch a door handle 3 times, I’m the type that likes to plan and have everything planned out. It needs to happen in a specific order, time, etc. If it doesn’t, I fall apart; Or at least I think it does.
Planning this surgery hasn’t changed any of that. I’m still completely obsessed with planning and go over my plans at least 3 times a week or more. I make sure I have all my lists for things I’m taking down, for things I need to buy or get prior and after surgery, what were doing each day, etc. I’ve been doing this since I found out my surgery date. It might seem excessive, and in part, I know it is a little bit. I’ve told myself to calm down, give it some time, But I still made plans.
Now that I’m a week out from surgery, it’s gotten real and my need to have everything planned out is in full effect. I have my lists made, checked them twice (haha!) and made sure that everything is ready for this trip and for when I get home. I’m ready! But I’m also still quite scared, which doesn’t help my OCD. Making sure I’ve gotten everything just right is daunting and takes a lot of my energy; trying not to get sick is my goal right now! So I’m attempting to keep my stress low, and my vitamins at a good level. I stopped taking my birth control last week, so needless to say my hormones have kinda gone batshit, which is just what I will have to deal with until I can get back on them after surgery.
Overall, I think being OCD has helped this process quite a lot. I’ve done my research on surgery, on this surgery, on my doc, on my facility. I have literally googled everything you could possibly think of pertaining to bariatric surgery and obesity. In the end, I don’t know if the knowledge helps at all, but it makes me feel better knowing that I’m not walking blindly into something that is life changing. I made this decision because I want to be healthy, I want to be better, I want to live. I think it’s the right decision, even if I have second thoughts and doubts. It is what I want, it’s what is going to help me plan my future.
The VSG Lady 